# 028 Self-knowledge – why is it necessary?

It is necessary to set aside some time to deliberate upon oneself because in our day-to-day living we are not true to our nature. In fact, we live differently than what we are. We put on some costume or the other all the time: that of a wife, a parent, a physician etc., and we keep changing the different costumes we wear.

Every situation requires that we respond to it in an appropriate manner. Thus, every situation invokes a different kind of self from me: sometimes it is the parent, sometimes it is the spouse, sometimes it is the child, and at some other times, the friend. Thus, I play a variety of roles throughout the day. We have to relate to the world and each relationship requires an appropriate response from me. Thus, in the presence of my father, the son in me is invoked. That is the only appropriate way to relate to my father. In the presence of my son, however, I become the father. In the presence of my teacher, I am an obedient, devoted disciple, and when I am required to teach, I am a guru. Thus, every situation requires me to behave in an appropriate manner and invoke the appropriate self. I am like an actor putting on different costumes, e.g., that of a king, beggar, or minister. These are but different costumes. I do know myself as a person related to somebody or something. But who am I when I am not related? Who am I out of all these costumes? Who is the one playing these roles? Who am I? Naturally, the one who is playing the role is different from the roles. When the same actor can become king, beggar, or minister, it is very clear that he is not any one of those. He is different from all of the roles. He is in all of them and yet, different from all of them. Similarly, I can be a father, son, or brother provided I am different from all of those roles. I need to know who I am when all the costumes are removed. It is not enough to know ourselves as we do now, as the relative person. It is necessary to know who I am when I am not related to anything. Who is the invariable absolute person? Who is the one in every costume, yet different from each? Who is he? It is necessary to know the Self of all these roles.

Why should I know my true Self? What do I get out of it? All these years have gone by quite satisfactorily without my knowing this Self; in functioning as a physician or attorney, it is not necessary to know who I am. It is perhaps alright for a renunciate to know the Self, but what is the use of this knowledge for people like us who are involved in day-today life? Does this knowledge of the nature of my Self have any relevance to the life I am leading now? Knowledge of the Self enables us to not be affected by the problems of the roles Yes, this knowledge of the Self does have a tremendous relevance in day-to- day life. It is the most relevant thing to everyone, whether renunciate or householder. If I know the relative self as being the relative self, it is fine. However, the relative self is taken to be the true Self. For example, it is well as long as an actor, who is playing the role of beggar, remembers that he is playing the role of beggar. But then, if he identifies with the role to the extent that he behaves like one, the fact that he is a multi-millionaire is of no use to him because he takes himself to be a beggar. Only when he is aware that he is only playing the role of a beggar will he be aware of his true identity! Isn’t it so? It is only when the actor is aware of his true identity that all the problems that belong to the beggar will remain at the level of the role and not affect him. As a beggar, he will be insulted, slapped, or favored; these are features of the role. When someone insults him, tears flow out of his eyes. Yet, he knows that the problems of the role do not touch him. Thus, in spite of doing what is to be done, he enjoys his freedom and is able to perform his role effectively. If he identifies with the role, however, he cannot perform his role effectively. Similarly, we should also recognize that all of our transactions are carried out by the relative person.

It is necessary that we should know the true identity of the person who is playing these roles. When one knows the true identity, the roles remain roles and what happens at the level of the roles does not affect us. Otherwise, we are not playing a role, but become the role itself. That is what is happening to us right now in our roles; there is no distance between the person and the roles. That is why there is sorrow and suffering or hurt and guilt in our lives. If we could maintain a distance and assert our independence, everything would become a play. You can enjoy even an insult. Even while the actor is crying in his role as a beggar, he is pleased that he is crying well. He can enjoy the crying because it is not real; his begging is not true begging because of the distance he maintains between himself and the role. In fact, the actor knows that his acting is going to earn him a few millions!

Self-knowledge is absolutely necessary for everybody. There is a false notion that this knowledge is for sannyäsis or retired people. It is wonderful to have this knowledge anytime in life. The ability to create a distance between the actor and the role enables us to live our lives more fully. Who is this actor? It is to know this that I meditate at dawn. I can let go of all my costumes and roles and look at myself as I am, apart from my roles, and see the beauty of my own self. It is not always beneficial to see the realities because the realities can also be unpleasant. Fortunately, however, the reality of the Self is so wonderful that it is most satisfying and fulfilling to see ourselves for what we are. Meditation is most beneficial to us early in the morning

Why do I meditate upon myself at dawn? It is then that my mind is well rested after a full night’s sleep and is sättvik. The mind is sättvik when it is quiet, tranquil, and contemplative. As the sun rises, the mind becomes more active and is then räjasik. The sun represents rajas, activity. When the sun sets, tamas comes with the darkness. We don’t want tamas or rajas. We want to be awake, yet quiet. We want a mind that is quiet, but not sleepy. Early in the morning, the mind is fresh. None of the problems and the situations of the day have taken hold of it and therefore, this is the time of the day when the meditation is most beneficial to us.

(Satsang with Sri Swami Viditatmananda Saraswati – AVNL Jun 2016)