It is necessary to
set aside some time to deliberate upon oneself because in our day-to-day living
we are not true to our nature. In fact, we live differently than what we are.
We put on some costume or the other all the time: that of a wife, a parent, a physician
etc., and we keep changing the different costumes we wear.
Every situation
requires that we respond to it in an appropriate manner. Thus, every situation invokes
a different kind of self from me: sometimes it is the parent, sometimes it is
the spouse, sometimes it is the child, and at some other times, the friend.
Thus, I play a variety of roles throughout the day. We have to relate to the
world and each relationship requires an appropriate response from me. Thus, in
the presence of my father, the son in me is invoked. That is the only
appropriate way to relate to my father. In the presence of my son, however, I
become the father. In the presence of my
teacher, I am an obedient, devoted disciple, and when I am required to teach, I
am a guru. Thus, every situation requires me to behave in an appropriate manner
and invoke the appropriate self. I am like an actor putting on different
costumes, e.g., that of a king, beggar, or minister. These are but different
costumes. I do know myself as a person related to somebody or something. But
who am I when I am not related? Who am I out of all these costumes? Who is the
one playing these roles? Who am I? Naturally, the one who is playing the role
is different from the roles. When the same actor can become king, beggar, or
minister, it is very clear that he is not any one of those. He is different
from all of the roles. He is in all of them and yet, different from all of
them. Similarly, I can be a father, son, or brother provided I am different
from all of those roles. I need to know who I am when all the costumes are
removed. It is not enough to know ourselves as we do now, as the relative
person. It is necessary to know who I am when I am not related to anything. Who
is the invariable absolute person? Who is the one in every costume, yet
different from each? Who is he? It is necessary to know the Self of all these
roles.
Why should I know
my true Self? What do I get out of it? All these years have gone by quite
satisfactorily without my knowing this Self; in functioning as a physician or
attorney, it is not necessary to know who I am. It is perhaps alright for a
renunciate to know the Self, but what is the use of this knowledge for people
like us who are involved in day-today life? Does this knowledge of the nature
of my Self have any relevance to the life I am leading now? Knowledge of the
Self enables us to not be affected by the problems of the roles Yes, this
knowledge of the Self does have a tremendous relevance in day-to- day life. It
is the most relevant thing to everyone, whether renunciate or householder. If I
know the relative self as being the relative self, it is fine. However, the
relative self is taken to be the true Self. For example, it is well as long as
an actor, who is playing the role of beggar, remembers that he is playing the
role of beggar. But then, if he identifies with the role to the extent that he
behaves like one, the fact that he is a multi-millionaire is of no use to him
because he takes himself to be a beggar. Only when he is aware that he is only
playing the role of a beggar will he be aware of his true identity! Isn’t it
so? It is only when the actor is aware of his true identity that all the
problems that belong to the beggar will remain at the level of the role and not
affect him. As a beggar, he will be insulted, slapped, or favored; these are
features of the role. When someone insults him, tears flow out of his eyes.
Yet, he knows that the problems of the role do not touch him. Thus, in spite of
doing what is to be done, he enjoys his freedom and is able to perform his role
effectively. If he identifies with the role, however, he cannot perform his
role effectively. Similarly, we should also recognize that all of our
transactions are carried out by the relative person.
It is necessary
that we should know the true identity of the person who is playing these roles.
When one knows the true identity, the roles remain roles and what happens at
the level of the roles does not affect us. Otherwise, we are not playing a
role, but become the role itself. That is what is happening to us right now in
our roles; there is no distance between the person and the roles. That is why
there is sorrow and suffering or hurt and guilt in our lives. If we could
maintain a distance and assert our independence, everything would become a
play. You can enjoy even an insult. Even while the actor is
crying in his role as a beggar, he is pleased that he is crying well. He can
enjoy the crying because it is not real; his begging is not true begging
because of the distance he maintains between himself and the role. In fact, the
actor knows that his acting is going to earn him a few millions!
Self-knowledge is
absolutely necessary for everybody. There is a false notion that this knowledge is for
sannyäsis or retired people. It is wonderful to have this knowledge anytime in
life. The ability to create a distance between the actor and the role enables
us to live our lives more fully. Who is this actor? It is to know this that I
meditate at dawn. I can let go of all my costumes and roles and look at myself
as I am, apart from my roles, and see the beauty of my own self. It is not always
beneficial to see the realities because the realities can also be unpleasant.
Fortunately, however, the reality of the Self is so wonderful that it is most
satisfying and fulfilling to see ourselves for what
we are. Meditation is most beneficial to us early in the morning
Why do I meditate
upon myself at dawn? It is then that my mind is well rested after a full night’s
sleep and is sättvik. The mind is sättvik when it is quiet, tranquil, and
contemplative. As the sun rises, the mind becomes more active and is then
räjasik. The sun represents rajas, activity. When the sun sets, tamas comes
with the darkness. We don’t want tamas or rajas. We want to be awake, yet
quiet. We want a mind that is quiet, but not sleepy. Early in the morning, the
mind is fresh. None of the problems and the situations of the day have taken
hold of it and therefore, this is the time of the day when the meditation is most
beneficial to us.
(Satsang
with Sri Swami Viditatmananda Saraswati – AVNL Jun 2016)
